Desire is the best murderer of all the success blockers you can ever have unless you are governed by fear. It is never easy for us to accept that we lack courage to follow our heart hence we produce excuses to glorify our fears just to preserve the false self we had to develop in order to be loved and accepted by those who jailed us with their highly conditional love.
I don’t have time, I don’t have the talent, I don’t have the skills, I don’t have money, I don’t have education, I am too young, I am too old, I was born in the wrong place to the wrong family, I am a man, I am a woman, I lack charisma, what if I fail, what if people don’t like what I do, I am just not good enough, smart enough, tall enough, short enough, etc. These are all how we hide our fears. Well, whom do we really lie to? No one, except ourselves.
What happens as a result? Our self- esteem decreases every moment we surrender to our fears. We do not grow and when we don’t grow we do not really live; we die inside and no one buries us but we bury our desires. Those who love us dead don’t really love us, they love themselves. Those who love us small are not big themselves. Those who love us depressed are not happy themselves unless they benefit from our depression in which case they abuse us. Those who love us fearful are cowards themselves unless they benefit from our fears.
We can only be true to ourselves when we own our desires and express them clearly and loudly regardless of mindless crowd or manipulative forces that wear love, authority or sometimes sell us popularity. We can only own our lives when we own our desires. When we don’t own our desires, we would be spending our lives satisfying other people’s desires. When we don’t own our lives we don’t own our heart. And when we don’t own our hearts we have only one thing that reminds us that we are alive and that is pain.
And I hope your pain threshold is very low.